Subject: Dear Mr Harper this is a request for help

Dear Mr Harper Sir,

As you may be aware some people in British Columbia want to build another hydro dam on the Peace River. Some other people think this is a very bad idea because all of the screw ups from the previous two dams have not yet been fixed.

Recent reports say the proponents, BC Hydro, have spent over 300 million dollars on surveying the site, planning construction and promoting the idea to the citizens of BC. This doesnt sound like much until you understand it has already been done two or three times before and it didnt make sense then either.

The people who are trying to inform all the other people about all of the issues around this insane idea are doing so out of their own pockets with cash donations, garage sales, dances and of course getting money from those foreign radicals that Joe Oliver and yourself have mentioned many times.

You would be amazed how many foreign radicals live right there in Ft St John, Hudsons Hope and West Moberly.
I know a few that have been there for almost 30 years, they have learned to speak English very well and have taken a shine to the Peace Valley. Some other foreigners have been there even longer. For example at West Moberly some of those people come from immigrant families that arrived seven thousand years ago (I think they were from China).

At any rate so far it hasnt been a fair fight and the Peace Valley Environment Association is being outspent at a rate of about ten thousand to one.

Of course because some of these foreign radicals have been here so long they have actually become tax paying citizens. Now they have to spend their own after tax money  to argue against people who are using  that same tax money to fight against them.

Those foreigners really dont have a clue do they Steve? Imagine paying money to fight against yourself. Who would elect a government that would allow that sort of thing……………..it serves them foreigners right I say!!

So here is my idea sir.

Who better to help fund raise for the PVEA than you and your cabinet? There should be no foreign radicals in that group huh? I think we all agree that your cabinet is made up of good old fashioned Canadian radicals ( except for Joe Oliver who did his learning in the USA) so that should eliminate any need to investigate them for helping out.

I did see a video of you performing at a charity event or something in Ottawa so this would be nothing new for you.

Perhaps you could find time to attend this years Paddle For The Peace. This is where several hundred people show up to paddle canoes down the Peace River as their way of saying “you have to be freakin kidding!!!  Those foreign radicals really go to extremes dont they?

I could arrange some stage time for you right at the starting line. I bet the crowd would love to hear you play piano and sing ” I’ll get by with a little help from my friends in Calgary”.

I was told that Joe Oliver was a mean guitar player, some other people said he was just mean.  I did look it up and
there is a rumor he has a band that plays gigs as Radical Joe and Oil to Go. In the pictures it looks Peter Kent playing muffled bass on a big rubber ” approved” stamp.

If you could get them to show up that would be great.  They could do the same Roy Orbison song they did at that oilmans dinner in Calgary   you know that one  that goes ” anything you want……………..baby you got it”

A while back a tabloid said Peter Mackay liked to sing as well……………..he probably does a bang up job of “Rescue Me”
or maybe John Denver’s  “I’m leaving on an incredibly expensive jet plane”. If Pete shows up I promise I will not scream obscenities
at him until after he is outside of the venue.

John Baird did offer to perform already. I met with 6 of the guys on the Paddle For The Peace  planning committee and asked if they would like him to show up. They politely declined the offer. All six were married and said they had been screamed at enough already.

There is quite a large First Nations participation in the paddle event. Perhaps we could get Aboriginal Affairs Minister John Duncan
to appear. We could say he will provide 2 minutes of silence to acknowledge all of the great Aboriginal people that had lived in the valley in the past.

We would have to explain that two minutes of quite time otherwise the crowd might think its just Duncan with his normal response to a difficult question around Aboriginal issues.

So Steve there you have it. You can help level the playing field in a fun and democratic way.

If you cant do that maybe just send the PVEA $300 million. Take it from one of those departments that keeps having “accounting errors”  you can have Laurie Hawn or somebody  explain it later.

They really need your help Steve trust me this is the nicest bunch of foreign radicals you’ll ever meet. Really, check them out, doctors, lawyers teachers, biologists, engineers, geologists and a bunch of other professionals who would have no clue as to what this issue is all about but they are nice people never the less.

Come on Steve how difficult is it just to type PVEA………………and offer up “a little help for my friends” this time?

In closing I hope all is well in Ottawa and I would really like to apologize for that incident with Flaherty, honestly my dog really did think he was some kind of Irish lawn ornament.

I hope this letter does get to you, usually I  just get a computer generated reply thanking me for my insults and comforts me with the information that your government is working hard make this country a better place.

Because of  a very  uncertain delivery system I’ve suggested to my friends that they circulate this note to the people they know and perhaps also send a copy to you. That way maybe at least one will find its way into your hands.

Good luck in the next election……………that Mulcair is getting to be real pain isnt he…….damn foreigner………..probably from Quebec or something?  By the way Steve is that the way to spell foreigner? My grand parents all came from Poland  they family hasnt caught on to the Canadian way yet, except for those who joined the army, the police force and did a few small things in business.

So excuse me for anything un-canadian like improper spelling or grammar   as I mentioned my grammar was from Poland,  so was my grampa…………in 10 or 12 generations when we become domestic radicals, I am sure it will get better

Regards

Norm Zigarlick

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